Ohhh Interesting!!

A peninsula ON ANOTHER PENINSULA!

So, I was a little caught off guard when it was announced that Qatar would be hosting the the 2022 World Cup. Now I believe I was ahead of roughly 70% of the Earth's population, given that I knew that Qatar was a country, one of those small oil rich Arab peninsula countries . Oh, and conservative in a way that would give the right wing of the Republican party a three hour erection.

As I am always at least making a token effort to expand my admittedly pitiful base of knowledge before I am flung from this life with the force and disgust of French chef disposing of some low grade American hot dogs that had recently turned, I ventured onto the Wikipedia page for Qatar to give myself at least a superficial idea of what the country is all about.

Okay I also checked CIA Factbook. 

Strange Things in the World+Television!! = Bizarrovision! Hawaii 5- WHHAAA???

This is my first combination post, and I think the subject is particularly worthy of comment since it is probably the most puzzling thing that has ever crossed my path. Well that is not entirely true. "Female logic", Sarah Palin, Germany's anti-nuclear energy policy, American Conservative policies, Japanese card game based animes and the Winter Olympics are all things that no one has been able to explain to me to any satisfaction but in terms of Us popular culture and television, there is nothing more bewildering than the remake of Hawaii 5-O, which is now called Hawaii Five-0. Cause it's different, see?!

A little history first: Hawaii 5-O, was your grandfathers Law & Order. Spawning on US television for the first time in 1968, the show was the prototype cop show, the one that came up with the phrase "take em away", a dead horse of a cliche so thoroughly beaten that it really is just a slightly damp piece of  ground at this point. The show ran for an eye popping 12 years and featured a multi-ethnic cast with extras that more or less reflected the racial reality of the island. In the 1960's that was nothing less than a Jesus getting drunk and turning a donkey into a Winnebago sized miracle. The show ended in 1980, and as we are currently stuck in the remake epidemic, television producers at CBS decided that this little hallowed piece of US television history had been resting peacefully long enough. So they pillaged the grave and cracked open the coffin to see what leftover pieces of cadaver they could stitch together into something vaguely resembling a show. This may seem I am being incredibly hypocritical in my opinions of the remaking scourge as I am on record as one of the many geeks who would willing sign up for the armed forces if Edward James Olmos made a recruitment video for the Marines wearing his Battlestar Galactica uniform. However, I feel that BSG is the very large exception that proves the rule about remaking old properties instead of taking a risk with new ones. The results often fall into the "intolerable horseshit" category. To be fair, Hawaii Five-0, isn't that bad, but it does carve out it's own niche in the remake paradigm: "bizarre". That word will crop up often.

A special relationship!

The owner of the Red Sox just bought the English Premire League football club Liverpool. I do believe that there is something going on. Some inner voice is telling me that these two storied and whiny fan bases coming together is a Very Bad Thing.

WTF is happening with American politics?!

Before we begin my amateurish analysis of American politics please watch the Video below and then follow it up with this excellent blog post. It will go a great way to explaining the outlandish behavior of the Republican representatives, though it is unlikely to be much comfort.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
I Give Up - 9/11 Responders Bill
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor

Holister Scares the Living Shit out of me

That's right, Living Shit, capital letters. I know that my age puts me far outside of the Holister target demographic but that doesn't mean I can avoid them. There is one in the new MyZeil Gallery in Frankfurt and which is gifted with Europes longest escalator that carries you straight to a Coa restaurant. Coa is a chain of 2000-y health Asian food fusion thingies that has food good enough sell one of your closer relations for. Maybe a cousin. In fact the whole set up seems to be made with Led Zeppelin 'Stairway to Heaven' jokes in mind. It's that good. Hang on I seem to have wandered off for a moment there...

Oh yes...Holister = Evil got it.

Like I was saying, I am fully aware that this little rant make me look like a decrepit pensioner trying to chase little snot chavs off of my front lawn, what with their flash dancing, hip hopping and lower back tattoos, but just look at the place!!

They keep the lights so low anyone over the age of 16 will continually bump into the fixtures or find themselves caught in an unwilling close encounter with the homoerotic wall spanning photos ripped straight out of a Playgirl magazine they decorate this hellish abode with. They fill the air with some putrescent, pheromone laced skunk musk to attract more of the braces wielding, training bra wearing, voice cracking, Tobey McGuire in Spider-Man 3 hairdo sporting zombies and then artificially limit the their occupancy rate to force the rest of us human beings to have to walk past this cavalcade of awkward pubescence. Look at the first picture, they have a chandelier hanging at genital height, those vile, tasteless philistines!!!

The whole get up doesn't so much shout "hip, edgy clothing retail branch" as it does "satanic goth-rock BDSM night club/rape shack". Any time I am forced to pass this place, I am struck by an adrenaline fueled fight-or-flight response as I am sure that one of the Ken Doll, 14-pack ab equipped, grape smuggling speedo models with excellently moisturized skin bouncers is going to clasp me between his faked tanned fingers, and with a flick of his purpose styled and highlighted surfer mop, hurl me into this den of sin and despair, where the succubi sales assistants will do unimaginably horrific things to me before I emerge 45 minutes later feeling skeezy, oily and supremely violated, carrying a paper bag of $65 dollar v-neck t-shirts that I would need to go on a all smoothie and wheat grass diet to squeeze into.

These places are Hellmouths I swear it!To make matters worse, the targeted demographic won't even get that reference!!

Flips less than glorious World Cup Blog-o-rama Extravaganza - WTF^10??!!

WTF??!!! 9 yellow cards?? Sending off Miroslav Klose for a neglible foul?? Podolski misses a penalty?? No yellow card when a Serbian player basically hugs the German goalie??? The Lakers won the NBA Finals after being down 3-2?? If the US loses against Slovenia I will willing go into exile!

---Addendum----

So the wave of what-the-fuckery continued well into the US-Slovenia match. In a instance of egregiously bad refereeing, the arbitrator of the match ruled our a perfectly legitimate goal that would have assured victory for the Boys in Blue and made their ascension to the next round all but assured. No I am not kidding, look at the tape the only way anyone was offside in that scenario is if the four Slovenian defenders turned out to have been photo-shopped into the picture.

I am still too angry and disappointed to talk about the Germany-Serbia game. Schadenfruede, while thematically appropriate to my blog, will be met with harsh reprisals!

An to all you out there who are reveling in the Celtics loss in Game 7 of the NBA Finals rather than celebrating in a Lakers victory. I have plans for you. Oh yes you know who you are, and now you know I am coming for you. Be afraid!!!

---Additional Addendum----
England vs Algeria, 0-0...really, I am no longer sure what to think. Both England and America will be desperately needing a win in the next go around, and it would seem they both have their work cut out for them. Those games will be the ones to watch.

Flips GLORIOUS World Cup Blog-o-rama Extravaganza!! - WTF???

Halftime in the Germany vs Serbia game and WTF is happening?? I have never seen a ref so prone to whipping out yellow cards!!
To come to think of it: what has been happening in general with this World Cup? Swiss wins against the contender Spain? Mexico sends France packing 2-0?? Did someone put something in the water??

Countdown to the World Cup: T - 4 Days

There are only days left til the start of the greatest sporting event mankind has ever dreamed up and so now it is time to start preparing myself for this festive event. With any luck there will be a few treats to be had, I have a few friends who will be down in South Africa during the tournament and, with the proper amount of bribery, they might be willing to give us first person accounts of the matches that they attend. In addition to that, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I shall be writing about every match that I have the privilege of viewing. Some of them I may write as I watch. I expect these posts to be of lesser quality.
Anyway. Off to the first topic of Flips GLORIOUS World Cup Blog-o-rama Extravaganza!

Is the World Cup 2010 cursed??!!
The thought cracked open my skull and infested my brain yesterday. While I was driving off to do a couple of errands, a news blast came on the radio which announced that English football captain Rio Ferdinand would not playing due to an injured knee and Ivory Coast Football Jesus Drogba had broken his elbow during a test match. The latter news was particularly tragic as The Ivory Coast has been my favorite African football team since 2006 and there had been rumors of them riding the euphoria of the first African World Cup as far as the semi finals. With Drogba more or less out, that dream is shattered. I then cast my mind back to the fact that Germany, (Die Bundeself, Die Mannschaft!!!) had suffered a string of injuries, including Chelsea star and Matt Damon look alike Michael Ballack. A quick search in the internet revealed that several more big names, who for various reasons, would be watching the games on there four meter flat screen LED while their newest concubine services them rigirously.

What follows is a list of the fallen:
David Beckham (ok, not much of a surprise)
Luca Toni
Ronaldinho (fallen due to Coach displeasure)
Hans Sarpai
Fabio Grosso (once lauded hero of Italy, now booted for being crap)
Ruud van Nistelrooy (seriously?? this is starting to get silly)
Esteban Cambiasso (probably for not worshiping Maradonna, so credit to him)
Wayne Bridge (had to mention it because of the John Terry-and-Bridges ex story)
Salvador Cabanas (shot in the head!!!)

That is a fairly extensive list of big names and it goes on. Question is, does this mean anything or am I just seeing ghosts. In any case I will be snickering to myself at the fate of the England captain while on the inside praying that the three injuries sustained by the German team doesn't completely bone them for South Africa. Schadenfreude cuts both ways I guess.