Tuesday May 13, 2008
As the product of the union of a protestant mother and a catholic father my relationship with the rather hegemonic catholic church has always been slightly contentious. I have never had any issue with friends, members of my family or random people on the street who are catholic; my great uncle is a catholic priest and I don't think I have ever met a warmer, more intelligent human being in my entire life and probably never shall again. Yet an issue that has never ceased to nag me is how strongly the catholic faith is bound with the organization of the church. Primarily this bothers me as it puts something as intensely subjective and personal as spiritual salvation into the hands of a something that could callously described as a religious bureaucracy. Another pet peeve of mine is the churches often puzzling attempts at social engineering.
A group of supposedly chaste men lecturing us fornicating sinners on what is and what isn't correct behavior while getting hot and heavy at a company party is absolutely preposterous! It be like me trying to teach a school of fish how to pack in that nasty water breathing habit and maybe take up curling as an alternative. If it were Charlie Sheen telling us about how sex can be addictive and that we should watch out what we do I would be taking notes like a frenzied uni fresher during my first week of lectures. This guy just makes me shake my head and wonder what he's going to pull out of his hat next. Pope Lederhosen has already published the 10 bleeding commandments of driving, so I'm hoping for a new Psalm about body art. "And God doth decree that you shall not get a tribal/barbed wire tat around your bicep, as it makes you look like a twat. Neither shall a woman get a tongue stud, as it will lead men astray and put into doubt her chastity and purity." That's right, tongue piercings lead to blow jobs, and we all know where that leads to:
Sunday School!
God is laughing at his representative on Earth. Hard.
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