The Reduced Star Wars

A long time ago, on an island not too far away, but it would still be questionable if you would want to go there, a trio of unbelievably geeks (though not the original, only one of those) were granted permission to apply their unique brand of comedy/faffing about to the works of one George "The Bearded Hutt" Lucas. Thus shielded from the dark legions of the LucasArts Legal department, the went on a bit of a tear and produced for our viewing pleasure Star War Shortened!!

Should be viewed for many reasons but foremost among them:
"Hi, this is my student Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm Liam Neeson!"
Episode II presented entire with acoustic guitar
Flow charts
A tent standing in as Jabba the Hutt
Rotating tassels

PLUS the entire series broken down in less than 60 seconds!

Oh Reduced Shakespeare Company.  You make life bearable.

Part The First


Part the Second

A Tale of Two Sherlocks

In the past year, we have been graced with two new incarnations of Sherlock Holmes. The first  was presented to us by every ones favorite London gangstarr groupie Guy Ritchee, who seems to be back on track producing witty humorous and clever "guy" flicks (*chortle chortle*) after having been lost in the wilds of Madonna va-ja-ja for several years. The second is the Sherlock Holmes television re-imagining created by Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss, the former now the head writer and executive producer for the rebooted Doctor Who series and the latter also a writer on said series who play Sherlock's brother Mycroft in this new show. Both seemed to be trying to give us a Holmes for the modern era but they go about it in such different ways that it begs the question of which one shall be the iconic Holmes of our generation. Is this a thoroughly fruitless endeavor? Yes. Will whatever arguments I construct be flimsy pablum in the face of the fact that this is an entirely subjective decision? Sure. Am I just yapping into the void of the Interwebs in a futile attempt to let the world know that I exist! I matter! And goddamit, I'm worth it! ...Probably. Will these realizations stop me from embarassing myself? Unlikely.

Adieu Turmpalast

Today a Frankfurt institution closes its doors for the last time. The Turmpalast cinema by the Eschersheimer Turm is ending it's 60 year reign of being the first and foremost location to enjoy original version English movies. The cinema first opened it's doors in 1950, amidst the bombed out ruins of the city. Since that time it has remained a cornerstone of the Frankfurt cinema scene, through my parents time and eventually my own. As a teenager who loved to get lost in the stories movies tell, I went there often.
The Turmpalast had about 8-12 rooms, ranging from you standard auditorium size to small little cabinets that could hold no more than a dozen people at most. The theater was very egalitarian in it's movie selection, often showing works that would never be released in Germany or ones that would only appeal to smaller audiences. As one can imagine, over time, the decor began to fade. The seats became noticeably worn, torn sections often patched up with duct tape but it never lost the appeal that you were "going to the movies". There was none of the sleek, coordinated entertain-o-plex plastic feeling that most modern movie theaters have. It may have been old, worn at the edges, the picture a tad grainy and the sound system may have crackled, but whenever I went there I felt like I was once more a 15 year old. The same electric anticipation as the lights dimmed and I left the real world behind for the world that unfolded before me.
I have many fond memories associated with that old cinema, of double features with friends where the second movies was meant to cleanse the palate of the first. Of trying to watch Aliens 4 when suddenly three of our teachers walked in and sat a row ahead of us (of course the only course of action was to offer them popcorn). I watched flicks as immortal as Jackie Brown and as ignoble as Jaw Breakers in those comfortable and worn out seats.
Sadly, the end of the Turmpalast was as banal an event as could be imagined. The old building was not up to modern fire codes and neither the buildings owner nor the company that operated the theater could really be arsed to pony that would be needed for the extensive renovations. Apparently the metropolis cinema across the street will be picking up some of the slack. But it probably won't be showing the diversity of titles that the Turmpalast once did. It certainly will not be able to replicate the feeling of watching a movie in those old and loved auditoriums.